


Lullaby

by SailorLestrade



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, Emotional, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, F/M, Heartbroken Sam Winchester, Hunters & Hunting, Hurt Sam Winchester, Sirens, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 03:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18044621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorLestrade/pseuds/SailorLestrade
Summary: Sam and Dean hunt a siren after Sam suffers a great loss.





	Lullaby

Dean should’ve seen the signs while they were on the hunt. The withdrawing, but Sam had been doing that for a while. The crying in the bathroom when he thought Dean couldn’t hear. The lingering when picking up the gun. He should’ve seen it before it came to a head.

It was a nasty siren they had been dealing with. She wasn’t giving people what they wanted, but her song was bringing up feelings that lay hidden. Some were anger, some were joy, but others, well, that’s what brought Sam and Dean to that Ohio town. A high suicide rate, higher than it had ever had. They weren’t sure who she was, but they had to catch her before she sang her song to anyone else and drove them jump off a ledge.

It was after the bar, with the waitress who smiled a little too much at Sam and touched him a little more that Sam started to withdraw from Dean.

Dean knew Sam had been struggling a lot recenetly. After a werewolf hunt that had taken (Y/n) from him. She had been bitten, right on the shoulder. Sam had told her they would find a cure, but that night, they found her on the motel floor with a silver bullet in her heart and her favorite pistol laying by her open hand. She would have rather killed herself then lived as a monster. And every time Dean saw the broken look in his brother’s eyes when he found an article of clothing at the bunker or he smelled her perfume, it made Dean hate (Y/n) for what she had done to him.

They figured out the siren as she stood beside a pregnant teenager, singing softly to her to bring forth feelings she had. Sam cut the poor girl’s hand with the bronze dagger before Dean plunged it into the siren’s chest, cutting off her song in her throat.

Dean wanted to go out and celebrate. But Sam just shook his head when invited to join. He quietly made his way back to the motel room. Warning bells should’ve been going off in Dean’s head, but instead, he went to the bar, deciding that Sam needed or wanted a little space.

Then Dean came back to the sounds of “Tears in Heaven” playing through the thin motel door. Dean opened the door slowly and peered around the room. The only thing out of place was Sam, sitting against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest and a gun in his hand.

“Sammy…” Dean said softly. “Watchya doing?”

“I think the siren got to me.” Sam said, his voice heavy with tears.

“Yeah, well we killed her.” Dean said.

“It doesn’t matter.” Sam looked up at him, bloodshot eyes and tracks running down his face from tears. “Nothing matters.”

“Sam…” Dean walked to him, not liking the way he just sat there, waiting for someone to finish him first. “(Y/n) wouldn’t want you to do this.”

“She did this!” Sam screamed. He raised the gun and placed it against his chest as “Tears in Heaven” changed to “Nothing Else Matters”. “She shot herself right here! She didn’t….she didn’t even say goodbye.” Sam cried. “I thought she loved me.”

“Just put the gun down.” Dean said, wanting the gun away from Sam.

“I didn’t even cry when we found her Dean. I didn’t cry when we burnt her. I miss her so god damn much.” He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Why did she do this to me?!” He jumped up and punched the cinderblock support collum. 

“Sam!” Dean grabbed his arm to stop him from punching again. He was able to get the gun away from him and threw it across the room before pulling his brother into a hug. Sam shrunk down to be closer to Dean’s height. Dean slowly lowered them to the ground as he felt Sam’s legs shake.

“Why?” Sam sobbed into Dean’s shirt. The build up of the past few months had finally gotten too much. And the siren had helped bring it to the surface. Flashes of (Y/n) laying on the ground. The memory of the werewolf that had been coming for Sam being cut off by her. Her screams as sharp teeth sunk into her skin through her layers.

“I wish I knew Sammy.” Dean said, petting his hair and rubbing his back. Dean had thrown up after they had found her. He got drunker than he had in a long time and threw it all back up behind the bar. He had beat a brick wall until his knuckles bled. He screamed and cursed at anything that would listen to just help them. They would handle her being a monster, as long as she was there.

But she didn’t gasp for air in the backseat of the Impala as they drove home to burn her at the place she loved the most. Sam wanted to just bury her to find a way to get her back, and Dean almost let him. But they were convinced to burn her, because they knew she wouldn’t want to be a ghost.

So the Winchester brothers sat on that old carpet floor as “Wish You Were Here” played on. Dean holding onto Sam as he sobbed until he had nothing left to cry, as he screamed at her for being selfish then begged her to come back home.

But nothing changed, besides the songs playing from Sam’s phone.


End file.
